l am struggling with a problem that keeps happening to me in relationships. Basically the main problem is that l fall deeply in love AFTER a relationship is over. Even relationships that l am not that content with.

For instance, my last boyfriend and l were together for 2 years. l purposefully dated him because my feelings were not overly strong because l thought it would be more stable. In fact our sex life was not even that strong even though l was attracted to him and he was my ''type.''

When the relationship ended l almost had a feeling of relief because l wanted to be single and felt l did not have much sexual chemistry with him. However, it was mainly my inability to explore my sexual feelings and be open about them during the relationship.

Now it is 2 months later and l wish we had sex and l wish l returned his love during the relationship. l am filled with deep regret that the relationship ended. All of the things l took for granted about him (he is nice, he went above and beyond for me, he was head over heals for me, he is physically my type, tall and athletic, etc. etc.) l now think about all the time. l find myself in love with him now that it is over in a way that l was not during the relationship.

My problem is that this is a distinct pattern for me, where l fall in love after a breakup. l always try to get back with the guy l took for granted when it is over but it never works. l realize how important they are to me after it is too late. It is sad because l see so many of my friends break up and get back together with their exes but l never get a 2nd chance. Maybe it is because l come on too strong after a breakup/the relationship ends. But basically l can not control myself because l always feel more in love after a breakup.

l basically feel as in love with someone as they did when we were together. Obviously these feelings are not normal. So what is my problem? :-( (Desperate forand guidance) :-(

hmm, were you abducted by aliens?

This is not the place to find real . You should find a therapist somewhere near you to help you.