can someone please help? my boyfriend of over three years has been suffering from depression for over a year now :( it varies in its severity from mild to down right uncontrollable. he can be aggressive , argumentative, mean, upsetting, teary (various angry emotions really) and he can experience them all within an hour or 2. he is on medication and sees a counsellor fortnightly. l want my old boyfriend back, and im very scared that hes gone forever??? l try my best to sympathise, but its very hard at times when all the anger is directed towards me. l do my utmost to remember that hes ill, but sometimes l cant help thinking that its not the meds and maybe hes using these as an excuse just to be mean???any advise from similar situations??? l will take anything that will help me to understand?????

My boyfriend was in a very similar situation a few months ago. He would suddenly start crying for no reason & felt like life was really pointless.

l listened & tried to support him but nothing seemed to help. l called a friend of mine who is a psychologist & she said that l should try top get him to think about going to a counsellor. Now my bf likes to think of himself as being a complete man is man & the idea of going to see anyone was laughable to him. But he eventually accepted he clearly had some issues & decided to give this woman a go. He is only been to see her 4 times & she put him on some medication that he is now been on for 3 months. l do not know whether it was a placebo effect or whether the damn pills actually work but the difference is incredible. He is so much calmer & on one level now. Its not that he is amazingly happy all the time but he is stable & content & for the most part is very happy.

Please try to get ur bf to look into counselling etc - can not tell u what a difference it can make.

Best of luck.

natural remedy valerian root (not from holland & barret, it is low quality). try to get him off the medication it will only make things worse (there is no profit in curing people). many violent crimes r committed by people on prescription anti depressants.

also cut out sugar & coffee if he can or cut it down. there is natural alternatives like agave syrup & honey. do not use aspartame it is worse than sugar. coffee is a brain irritant so makes people angry. sugar also increases pain & allergies.

also get him to stop reading newspapers, watching tv news & listening to radio news. at least for week then u can see how ridiculous it all is. it is been proven to make u depressed & angry. also try to get him to do some activities. eg. cycling, football, gardening, photography, countryside walks, anything u can think of.

hope that helps.

Depression is internalised anger. Counselling should help - but it depends on how open he is to really looking at his issues. If he is on anti depessants they will actually numb his feelings & make it harder for the counselling to be effective.

The main thing is that u realise that his mental health is his own responsibility & u should not have to put up with his verbal/mental cruelty toward you. Understanding what he is going through is fine - but u should not be his emotional punchbag. Make it clear to him that u will not put up with that anymore. If u take care of ur self it will help him to take care of himself - if he simply deflects his own bad feelings on to u all the time he will not only hurt u - but it will also impede his own progress.

If the situation does not get better & he continues to make u unhappy u will seriously need to consider leaving him. Try doing some reading about co-dependency - see if anything rings a bell with ur own situation. l spent many years helping my wife cope with her bi-polar disorder - & learnt a lot by learning how to look after my own needs as well as hers. As a counsellor l have seen how detructive some relationships can become. Remember:

YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO LIVE FREE FROM OTHER PEOPLES ANGER AND CRUELTY!

Good luck to u both.

Be careful when taking other people is advice.
Seek professional help. Trust the opinion of very familiar people like close friends & family.
Through this u will need professional help too!
REMEMBER TO LOOK AFTER YOU!
On one hand, l wan to say.a decision to be faithful is a commitment, & on the other hand l want to say that u need to put yourself first.
You r the only one who can know if u can take any more of this.be honest, do not put yourself through hell if u do not think u can/should.
Listen to what is inside you.that is ur truth!

What meds is he on? He sounds like a rapid cycler bipolar to me. Therapy is definitely in order as r meds. But it does not sound like simple depression to me.seems to be other things at play too. Maybe a better diagnosis or a switch in doctors or an opinion from someone new would help.

It is nice u r not leaving him over it & trying to help. My first husband dumped me in a very bad way & made my health much worse. Finding compassion when u have mental illness is hard.

The guy really sounds to me like a hospitalization is in order for observation & monitoring of meds awhile..maybe some new ones.

Has he ever had a mental hospital stay?

Has he developed MCS (multiple chemical sensitivities...environmental chemicals can cause mental problems like that too). l had to start making my own chemicals for house cleaning, but there r things in carpets, paints, etc. that will cause this.

Have u done something major to the house/apartment about the time he started showing symptoms that could have introduced a pathogen to ur living area? Or a chance at the workplace, same thing?

( l am the ill one here so BTDT).

Debbie

When people r depressed hun they hurt the ones they love. My hubby has been diagnosed with depression is on medication & seeing a counsellor & is finally starting to feel better. He told me he does not love me & left 3 months ago but came round everyday. This showed me that feelings where really still there.Now he tells me he does love me & l must understand it was his illness talking, slowly we r getting there. Do u feel there r feelings still there from ur boyfriend? l am sure there are, maybe he should go back to his Drs to have his medication checked. Good luck hun.Bear with him.