l am an extremely up tight person (or so my husband says). l do not really know what character trait l would use to describe it, but l get extremely angry at the drop of a hat, l get angry if something does not go my way, l get so emotional over the silliest things, and l get get extremely overwhelmed about EVERYTHING. l wanna change...l do not wanna be this way anymore. It is affecting my family. l just do not know how...i have tried ''just relaxing'' as my husband says, but l just can not. What can l do to change these behaviors? l do not believe in taking medication for everything...but l know l need some help.
No rudeplease...noly people that are really going to be helpful. Thanks!

for some, yoga or some meditation exercises &/or chanting some mantras helps. take deep breaths. do all or any of these as early in the morning as possible for best results. the mantra could be anything eg ''i will be calm ''i will not get angry ''i am a happy person or a simple ''aum'' - it should basically be repetitive & soothing.

see the sun rise & take deep breaths; just bask in the sun is rays for a while; close ur eyes, try to become as serene as possible without a thought in the mind. ''just relax'' ;-)

check ur daily routine - r u too cramped for time? sit down & do some time-management. delegate to family & friends instead of doing everything yourself.

organize yourself & ur chores. keep some time for yourself, ur husband, & so on. do not spend too much time watching TV or on the compy [unless these Really help u relax]. instead go for a walk, read a book, do some arts/crafts..

try to ''let go'' - l know sometimes what people say or do can hurt if u r overly sensitive, yet, force yourself not to dwell on it. if u catch yourself ruminating about the event, stop yourself immediately & turn ur thoughts to the work on hand or something nice.

splash cool water on ur face & eyes or count to 10 or walk out of the room the moment u start to get angry. [let ur family know in advance that walking out of the room is a temporary thing u may need to do to calm ur nerves without meaning to offend them. however, let this be just a very temporary measure - for a few weeks only because it will tend to hurt the others].

hope some of these measures will help you
the best thing is that YOU have decided to change yourself -that is always a very good & strong first step. take all the help & support that ur family offers
all the very best

It is important to acknowledge angry feelings left over from the past, especially ur childhood. Nothing can change what happened to you, but ur attitude to it can change. Past losses & injustices, big or small, can rankle for years. Painful experiences may include being neglected by ur parents, bitter rivalry with a brother or sister, the death of someone close, or growing up in exile.

You may think u have forgotten about them, that it is pointless to go over old bones. But, if something suddenly happens to u in the present, & ur response to it is totally over the top, it may become clear that these feelings r not so dead after all! While u remain unaware of them, they can cause unnecessary problems. But, if u can get to know them, u will have a chance of dealing more constructively with present situations.

What should l do when l feel myself getting angry?

Stop & think, if at all possible! There is a traditional saying, which is very sound, that goes: 'Hold ur breath & count to ten before u say anything.'

Walk away from situations
It is a good idea to ask yourself, 'Am l so angry l can not think?', and, 'Am l wanting to lash out & hit someone?'. If the answer to either of these is yes, then walk away from the situation. Tell the other person that u r too angry to speak to them at this moment, if u can. Go away somewhere to calm down.

If necessary, let out the desire to lash out by hitting a cushion, breaking crockery if u have to, shouting, screaming or making some kind of angry noise where it will not alarm anyone.

Resolve unfinished business
'Why am l so angry?'. Finding the answer to this is important for the next step. Are u angry because of something that is happening now, that threatens you, ur life, ur loved ones, ur work, someone or something that u value? In other words, is ur anger justified & in proportion? Or is it that some of the anger that u feel is not really due to the person & situation that u r facing now, but to some unfinished business from the past?

If ur anger turns out to be more to do with the past than the present, then think about how to address that before, or as well as, dealing with the current situation.

The way to find out about this is by talking it over with another person, preferably someone who is not involved, personally. Once u r clear that the anger is about the here-and-now, prepare to tell the other person that u r angry!