Ok i'm about to spill my heart because l need help, so bear with me.

When l was a kid, l went to very small schools (25 people or less) up until high school. l was very shy and lacked social skills. Middle school is where problems began to happen. l let people take advantage of me on a daily basis and got made fun of alot. That gave me low self-esteem. What was extremely important to me was having a girlfriend when l was in middle school even when l was in 6th grade, but it never happened. It devastated me that l could not get a girlfriend, so l thought it was because of the way l looked (the low self-esteem issue). l REALLY liked a girl in middle school and became obsessed with her. She turned me down 3 times and l became extremely depressed for 1 year. l started losing weight and l became disgustingly skinny. l was somewhat skinny even before this. This grossed out the girls in my class and l became even more depressed. If l found out a girl did not like me, l would completely ignore her, even if we were friends before that. l still struggle with that problem today.

l got my chance to change in high school, because l moved far away from New Jersey, where l used to live, to Colorado. It was a fresh start for me and l loved it. l regained the weight, made actual friends, and became very social and outgoing. The first 2 years were great, but these last two I've noticed that my past is catching up to me. I've become very negative lately for no apparent reason, even though i'm a very happy person. My biggest problem is that l still have self-image problems. For example, l always feel the need to change the way my hair or face looks because l think that l could do way better, even though l look perfectly fine.

My real problem though is with women. l did not get my first girlfriend or kiss until l was 18. When l was in the relationship, l was really clingy. l wanted to talk to her all the time because l had waited so long to have a girlfriend. She could only take 2 weeks of that and broke up with me. It hurt, but l got over it in about 3 weeks. My problem with girls now is that if l think l say something weird to a girl l like, it ruins my whole day. l feel the need to be perfect when talking to her. l always worry about what she will think about the clothes i'm wearing. Or if she does not show up to class, it ruins my day also thinking about lost opportunity with her. Its during these times that I will make a change of appearance with my hair, because l think that l look better a different way (low self-esteem issue from middle school). I've been told many times that i'm good looking, and l can see it, but l do not really believe it (sorry if l sound vein).

l just need some advice, how can l overcome my self-esteem issues, my recent negativity, and my clingyness towards women? l do not wanna sabatoge every relationship i'm in, because its happened twice already and l can see a pattern forming. Please read the whole thing to truly understand my problem. Thank you for your time:)

Ugh we r so much alike. So with that l believe it is a common problem. l just wrote a paper on cliques & bullying & how damaging it is if it does not kill the child first! You may need therapy for the self-esteem issues if they have not gone away by now. You need someone to direct u to a place where u can say, ''Hey, not everyone will think my looks r attractive & l am okay with that.'' l personally cannot help u there. Your negativity could stem from the hatred or guilt, or whatever the emotion is that u feel about yourself & ur esteem. Humans can only take so much so long. This may or may not go away. If u feel it is a big problem then get help for that too.

l have tried many different methods to rid my clingyness. l try to keep myself busy doing fun stuff & it would be easier if l had a car, so l can go to the movies, or go home, etc. So that usually backfires. Then l may try not to bother the person for the whole & sometimes ur significant may think, ''Well why r they ignoring me now?'' So my number 1 plan would be to keep yourself busy. When you're doing things, you're not as anxious as to when u will talk to her again because ur mind is preoccupied. l do not know if homework will help, but it is a great time to get that stuff done. :D Also try to stay away from other girls. In such a stage, u will be more easily drawn into cheating even though u do not really mean it, especially if someone else is giving u the certain amount attention u need. Also, l usually warn a guy that l need a lot of attention & ask him if he can handle it before jumping into a relationship. It does not always work t hough.

If u get connected with God Almighty, u will live a life of confidence & fulfilling. God is our best Friend & Healer. Do not forget, one with God is majority!
God loves you, & u r precious to Him. The Son of God died on the Cross to save us from condemnation, & qualifying us to Heaven. Just come to Jesus with genuine repentance & faith & u will be saved for eternity. Heaven is wonderful beyond description & forever without end. Never miss Heaven for anything of this troubled world. Life on earth is short & uncertain. Get right with God before it is too late. Best wishes for happiness & Heaven! (spiritlessons.com)