1)always trying to learn but never get the decent grades..
2)did not have friends at college
3)ugly,introverted
4)short 165 cm weight 55kg..
5)keep failing in exams
6)lecturers hate you
7)had no life
8)the good thing is you have an extra car at home(high cc and can go fast)
9)lost friends and lost love ones (girls)many many many times
10)gay living in homophobic surrounding
11)really hate life and sick of it sick of human,keep thinking of cutting wrist or eating poison..
what will you do? where will you go?yes that was me..
please give brief answer..

Quit being so pessimistic, and look forward to the future and present. The past is over,for real.

Well the only positive thing you said was about your car. which is completely irrelevant.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. stop thinking the world hates you. you hate yourself. and that shows thru and people can see it.

Get over yourself and stop thinking the world is out to get you!

1) Go talk to a doctor. Tell them about this depression you're feeling. Feeling suicidal is not normal & u deserve to feel happy.

2) Do something to get away from ur situation for a while. Go on a mini holiday, maybe take a short break from college, perhaps look for a gay support group in ur area

3) 55kg to 165cm - u do not need to lose weight. You're BM l is 20.2, an overweight person is BM l is 25. However, if u want to get healthy, try going for a walk & eating healthy - trust me, u feel SO much better if u eat healthy.

4) After you've had a break, go back to college. Start fresh. Look for study groups & make a time plan for ur subjects & stuff.

5) If u do end up join a gay support group/ study group/whatever, try & become friends with the people there.