l have a very low self esteem. l keep having thoughts of suicide and l wanna cut myself or do other harm often. l know it wo not make things better, but idk how to make it stop. im afraid to get professional help. l do not wanna be on medication. just sometimes when l wanna cut, it is when l feel really guilty, and l think that if l punish myself l wo not need to feel guilty any more. l do not do it to make myself feel better, l do it because it feels like l deserve it. l know l should not be thinking these things, and hurting myself wo not make the guilt go away, but sometimes l do not think straight and l had to catch my self numerous times almost cutting. it feels like im in a trance and l do not really realize whats going on until l have something sharp against my skin, then l will drop it and not let myself do anything. but what if l can not make myself snap out of it in time? l just wanna know what l can do to make sure l do not hurt myself. also iim not always like this, maybe, at the most half of the time l am, but usually im a very happy person. What is wrong w/ me?
also l do not think anyone should ever feel a need to cut or take their own life. so l should not be an exception to this. l just do not know how to make these feelings stop
i just wanna say thanks to everyone who answered. u were all helpful

In all honesty u should see a doctor. It will be in all confidentiality because it is the law. You can start out with a low dosage until it gets in ur system & then increase as u see how it feels.

You need something. My brother has attempted suicide 3 times in the past 4 years. Every time he was off his medication. Do not be ashamed of being on medication. It is common for someone to be taking something no days. If anyone sees u take it just tell them its birth control or something.

No big deal. Next find someone that u know u can trust to talk to that will 100% never tell anyone what u tell them. It will help to release what is inside eating u up so much. Mostly a psychiatrist is best for this but its up to u to take these steps. Otherwise u will end up killing yourself. You do not want to end up in a mental institution do you?

You should talk to a Psychologist or go to your Doctor.you MUST get professional help, the only reason you're scared is because you think you are weird. But you are normal and if you talk to a professional, you WILL be normal.

one of the hardest parts about overcoming an issue such as this is admitting that it is a problem. You have succesfully done that within yourself. But have u told ur parents/guardians? You have to seek help, & if u explain that u dont want medications, a professional will be able to help you.

You have to realize that the u get online r not near as good as the u would receive from a professional. Few, if any, of the users that will answer this question r professionals. l strongly advise therapy.

l hope this helps.

Pray, if you pray to God with real intent in your heart you will receive inspiration on where you should go. Maybe go to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints website. Best of luck to you and please make good decisions.

l was like that too, years ago. It is when I'd get in fights with people, or just something would happen where it'd make me feel bad, I'd cut. And just like you, it is not because it really helps me or anything, it is because l blame stuff on me & make myself believe that is what l deserve. It is not, though. And it is not right for u either. When l see the scars on my wrist, l just think ''ughhh, why would l even do that?''

Things will get rough in life, they always do. But things ALWAYS get better. You wo not always be like this. You just seem depressed. l would suggest talking to a friend or relative- somebody close u can trust. You can not bottle up ur emotions & talk about this in because that will not help. It really feels good to just let out everything you've been keeping in & talk to someone about it. If that does not help, or u do not feel u have anyone to talk to, then l think u should go see a doctor. l understand that you're scared but if u start cutting, it will lead u in a wholeee bunch of more problems. And u obviously want help & want to stop feeling this way. Talking to someone is probably the only way to stop this.
Just keep ur head up & realize that with every dark night, there is a sunny day. Things will get better, but u can not do that crap. Good luck.

''Things will get better in the end, if they don't, it' not the end''

Guilt is not here and now. Remain aware of the present moment.

Some are missing the present moment because they're not accepting the past. Accept what is.