im just wanting as many persepectives on it as l can, have you had to fight for right therapy or has it always come easy first time ?



my mind is all disorganised and jumbled..

i have BPD and ptsd traits, struggle with aggression and rage, high anxiety aggraphobia , scared to leave my apartment , persecutory paranoia that everyones against me.

ive had an hard misfortunate life filled with trauma and abuse, ive missed out in life on ' social relationships ' forming any relationships - an education and qualifications - l have a criminal record going back 7 years ago and a long psychiatric record- been in a psyche hospital.

im 30 years old, 31 in january next year, l live alone in a small apartment on disability , l own nothing except a computer.

overall the mental health services have failed me throughout my existence , and only last year l got the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder.

my psychiatrist wont persrcibe meds because he said they can be addictive and dangerous and they only last a short time and you have to keep on taking them for benifit .

he aggreed l need psychanylitic therapy, l was refered to a group therapy centre for psychotherapy - they assessed me and said because ive been ' isolated ' for so long and still have problems with rage and aggression , that l wouldnt be ready right now to jump into a group therapy scenario , it would be too intense and challenging , and would possiblly stimulate my rage feelings.

so they reccommended a local drop in centre near by where l live thats less intense where they do activities & different projects , and theres people there like myself, they reccommended l attend this place to help me ' integrate back into society '.

they have provided me with an occupational therapist to help me practically to get out and face my aggraphobia and anxiety through ' desensitization ' - facing the fear gradually...


they have told me thers no 1 on 1 individual psychotherapy in my area because of lack of funding - which is what l wanted for my complex social behavioural issues .

even my psychiatrist aggreed l need the therapy but has no control over what resources are available in the area.

meanwhile l have an injured ankle which l sprained a year ago, torn tendons in my ankle that im doing physio exercise for and l will need an operation to see what damage has occured..


so theres just worry, anxiety, stress, insecurity , racing thoughts all around with me.

i feel anxious because l wanna attain my goals in life of a decent paid job in computers then to leave england and move tofrance - a nice part of france , rural-and find a partner , settle down etc..

im scared time will run out and im too disadvantaged to achieve that goal.

meanwhile what do l do ?

i feel stuck to know what to do , part of me feels like im being deprived of proper help, but im not sure..




so do l make a fuss for individual psychotherapy or just go along and accept what their offering ?
great thanksto all

WOW. Umm. l would say fight for your right to live freely. Tell them to f off and ask to live like a normal person, you know? Just go to a pshyciatrist everyday or during the weekdays. You can do this. You can overcome your disabilities. Talk to me sometime, l may be able to help: blueyedblonde00live.com

Hope l helped!

-Alexa-

If you truly want to obtain this goal you need to go along with the group that is in your area. It may be difficult for you but you really need to keep your future goals in the front of your mind and do not lose site of what you truly want in life. Try the local group give it a month and see what happens then re-evaluate the situation as time allows. God Bless you it sounds like you have many obsticles in your way but pray and be strong you can overcome them with the right help.

Yikes! This is what national health care does to people. You need help but can not get it. l think u will have to take what they offer but since u have a computer, u can also start researching things online that can help you. Join support groups so u can find out tips & advice from others & also have their encouragement. has some great groups but u can also go to healthboards.com to find lots of good info on various conditions.

Can u apply for funding to take classes online? l do not know how that works over there. But it would give u something to focus on & be helping ur goals. If not, then find every single free site that has tutorials & learning on it. Sit & do those yourself. Work out a plan for yourself on paper on how u can reach those goals. They might seem daunting now & so far off but if u take it one step at a time, then u r getting one step closer at all times.

Also research ways to reduce ur stress. Try them all to find out what works for you. You sound like you're intelligent & l think u can put the one thing u do have (a computer) to good use. Be ur own advocate. Make that computer work for you.

Turn ur focus to what u CAN do, not what u can not. That helps all of us. If we concentrate on what is wrong & what we can not do, we never move out from that. You obviously can do some things so focus on those for now. As u build some confidence & get some help online, u can take other steps to keep building on those. Keep going.

Good luck to you!

You know u r not hard done by! Your psychiatrist is right not to prescribe u drugs & u should be thankful that anyone at all is helping u because u appear to be wrapped up in yourself. Feeling sorry for poor you. You know anger is all about perceived injustice.

You r therefore angry at the world because it has failed you. No it hasn't! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop demonizing everybody else & stop ur silly plan to run away to France.

People in other less fortunate war torn countries would be angry at u for taking up valuable resources - u r luckier than most. Stop this madness of this self wallowing pity.

You asked for my opinion & u have it - no offence!

You have the right to treatment. My suggestion is to attend the drop in group even though u do not want too. Make a commitment to follow their direction to the letter for 3 months. Be clear with ur treaters this is what u r doing. Continue to ask for there guidance & clarification. In other words make a polite, appropriate, pest out of ur self.

After the 3 month period as for a staffing including all of ur treaters & say clearly l have been trying. Sometimes l do really well sometimes not so well but l need help. You r the paid experts. Tell me what steps u think l need to meet my goals.

By showing ur willingness in the beginning to ''follow treatment'' they may be more willing to invest time searching for resources for you. l wish u the best.

please remember ur only 30..almost 31 yor still very young!!! concentrate on group threaphy & wow thats great u have a occupational thearapist helping you!!! do u know some people actually many people wouldnt even bother or try to help themselves to try to achieve there goals so first things first , intergrating first & doing group therapy actually now sounds good for you- it will be hard ,ive just started an intensive programme & im finding it very hard,and previosly l have had counselling before that l paid for,then maybe later get that one to one theraphy ,when ur settled in ur group maybe u can expand on how u feel be in social situations? volunteer work? then much later down the line think about moving- one step at a time- l think ur being too hard on ur self!! theraphy takes time its an investment in ourselves!!! ive just defered my uni course at the age of almost 34 to do 2 years of therapy but l have to go back next year to restart my second year, please remember also that the nhs view every patients needs differently!
so hey good for u for reaching out & starting group therapy please go!! & make good use of that OT

*phe-no-me-nuh*

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*phe-no-me-nuh*

doot-doo-doo, doot!

*phe-no-me-nuh*

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doot-doot-doo-doo-DOOT!