How did you feel?

l was seeing my counsellor for nearly a year and was still only learning to trust her in many areas. In recent weeks l have been struggling l would have rang perhaps once or twice a week. Last week l was in contact with the home treatment team who only spoke to me on the phone and told me to go take a tablet to calm down and that they would get my keyworker to ring the next day- therefore she would ring me (not my choice but home treatments), all l was doing was doing was ringing home treatment as l felt a danger to myself.

On wednesday this week l tried to contact my key worker, as she had told me to contact her later that day. l was told she was no longer my key worker, l wont ever see her again (psychiatrists choice) and that l had no right to an explaination or to say goodbye an dthat l would be given a new key worker.

l was already on the knife edge and this sent me overboard. l do not think l did anything wrong, l wasnt out of order ringing when l deseperately needed help, l wasnt pestering her or being in anyway out of order and yet my psychiatrist has punished me for asking for help (mainly from home treatment).

l am not a bad client, l am curtious to people, always make my appointments, do whats right for me etc. The psychiatrist who seen me in hospital after my overdose said that even my key worker seemed shocked.

l feel crushed and please dont give me a lecture about being attached because unless you have seen a counsellor/key worker/psychairts etc fora long period and trusted personal information with them you will never understand what its like to loose them, never mind to loose them without any notice.

l have borderline personality disorder & depression and l feal rejection very strongly. l feel crushed and like an awful person. Did deserve that? only a few weeks ago my psychiatrist told me nothing could be done to help me and that hurt so much but l can not believe he has done this to me. It is not the right decision and l dont feel l wanna see anyone anymore because l am too afraid of this happening and to trust and be hurt which continuously hurts.

I am so upset


x

Please find spiritual and religious leader in your community and study with him thoroughly, they will show you the path of Peace.God Bless You

If l ever had any of those l would be very pleased if l lost one even better if l lost all of them, just a load of interfering busy bodies all of them, most of the time they achieve nothing other than a crutch for the losers in life who will not knuckle down and work there way out of their problems.

That sounds a bit tough & it is sad ur psychiatrist said there is nothing to be done to help you. l am not sure all psychiatrists etc. would agree with him.

Borderline personality disorder can be treated or alleviated with REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) it just takes a lot longer.

There r lots of interesting titles by an author called Windy Dryden, eg. 'Overcoming hurt', 'Overcoming shame' 'Overcoming depression'. l know someone who had to stick at it for years, but he made it in the end.

l think it is a bit tough to not get an explanation & maybe insensitive on their part. But that does not mean u should take responsibilty for it, it does not automatically mean u did something wrong. Maybe u will be able to talk about ur feelings with ur next keyworker or even change ur psychiatrist if u feel he/she is a little insensitive.

Why do you get attached to them? They are just doing a job.

Hi, l cannot give u an answer to what is happening but l can let u know that u r not alone. l have been seeing my nurse for nearly a year & although l have not lost her yet l can feel her moving away from me, if u understand what l mean. l know it will only be a matter of weeks before she will stop seeing me & 'pass' me on to someone else. l also have fear of rejection & when she told me she can no longer help with my cbt l took it as rejection & l felt so many emotions towards her especially hate. The only thing l can say is keep asking for help, u know that feeling this way is not right & u have to keep asking for help. Good luck

l got rushed straight to the top of the list for therapy and left out of counselling, l feel let down and still am suicidal now l have to wait at least a year to get into psychotherapy to work through the rest of my issues,

i understand how you feel and it something you will just have to get used to, l know it hurts and im sorry l cant give some better advice

email me if you wish to chat

l am going through something like u are. l have bi-polar depression. My psychiatrist of 15 yrs. retired. He did let me know well ahead of time so l could get used to the idea & he also found me a new psych. that he thinks will be a good personality match. l can not believe ur psych. told u that. l would definitely find a new one & get another diagnosis. l also have a wonderful counselor & can not imagine her doing what ur key worker did to you. l think the best thing here also would be to get a good counselor to go to. l understand how attached we can get to our health care workers. l cried for days when my psych. retired. l am not familiar with a key worker but l am assuming it is someone u can call on the phone when u need immediate help? If you've overdosed in the past u really need the help & teamwork of a counselor(I'd look for this one first u really need to talk) & a psych. (second on the list but just as important) because there is/are things to help u & u deserve it. e-mail if you'd like. Peace & strength to you.

That happened to me just a few weeks ago. l was seeing a worker who was so great, l could really speak to her.. l opened up about so much stuff & let her in.. then l found out she had just been a student & she had never mentioned it to me.. its like l was some kind of guinea pig for her to learn on!! Its really hard when that happens but u just gotta remember u r more important & not to take it personally ( l have bpd too so l know thats HARD) but try ur best. & dont ever feel awful & no u didnt deserve it.. she/he should have explained their reasons to you.