this is something ive been going through for a long while...pretty much since childhood...but never gav a thought abt it nor discussed with anyone sofar...but now im pretty apprehensive...
as a child ive always been extremely shy and a has a small cirlce of friends. ive had a good childhood but faced lot of turmoils withing the family since it disturbed me being a silent and peace liking child....ive always been extremely emotional and even today l keep everything towards myself...i have a very private life...
but today im a pretty bold girl with an extemely normal life like anyone else..but ive always had an hatred towards myself for everything..i feel confused most of the times and thoughts conflict....i find it hard to open up myself to others. the only thing others know about me is how low self esteem and low self confidence l have....and l dont have even a confidence to the slightest in life..not in one thing...
now the problem ive been finding weird is that...i talk to myself most of the times ven im alone...the craziest part is that it is disconnectd talk...mayb ven im alone reading a book.....i jus say someting that has nuthing to do with the book or myself...it jus comes automatically...i do weird stuff..like jus thinking blank...smile or cry unnecessarily..only ven no1 is around..im worried about everything in life...
the most astonishing thing to myself is that l have conflicing personalities...aboslutely no1 can even think of a me like this even in thier widlest dreams... coz im a simply...slightly worried normal happy fun loving girl outside to everyone...but l hv conflicting likes and dislikes with the actual me and my so called mask....i think absolutely evil sometimes...but in person im an extremely mild person....sometimes l watch violent stuff....its jus crazy..please guide me on this...am l ok?! or is it just sumthin that every1 goes thru?!...
please help...n let me knw wat can l do to overcome this...the time to talk to others is far gone now....no1 would even believe that im goin thru this....
n once again....this is not serous and frequent but pretty often....jus worried n wanna get it cleared

this is actually pretty normal. this isnt anything uncurable it just sounds like u havent found out exactly who u r yet. u may not feel like u have very much purpose in ur life at the moment but u have plenty of time to realize ur purpose. no rush. l think ur just trying stuff out with the watching violent things thing. u may not realize it but u r just searching to find out what ur all about. everyone has a defining attribute about themselves. u say ur not good at anything, that is absolutely false. u have skills that will save u later on in life trust me it just takes a while to figure it all out but it sounds like u have time. ur not crazy. that term is thrown around too much nowadays. u just need to understand people life & meaning better. prioritize & get in reality. find a hobby that vents ur stress. that sort thing. good luck

First of all u forget the past.

Second u start afresh. Get yourself recharged.

Pray. Prayer can move mountains.

You have to totally change ur life style & mind set both.

You have to change ur food habits. You have to keep good company. You should compare with people who have undergone similar difficulties & shown successes in spite of several odds. Identity yourself with noble & great people & imbibe their qualities. Associate with right minded people. Be pious & virtuous. Emulate some of the noble qualities that u find in others.

Get guidance from close quarters like parents, friends, priests, teachers, elders, like that.

l am thinkin' clinical depression. Contact a DR. Al ot of what you are explaining is normal, but there are a few things that make me wonder. Check it out to be sure.

What is ur age?
A lot of people watch violent things for the thrill it gives; my husband just explained that to me this past weekend when he was watching wrestling, & we were both commenting on how certain moves were broken, but he also filled me in on the days of chariots & the likings of (before Christ even)--how the excitement of such horrible stuff brought people out to the arenas by the hundreds!
Do me a favor & smile! really big, show all of ur teeth, squint ur eyes, wrinkle ur nose, puff up ur cheeks, & say CHEESE!
Now hold that pose for 60 seconds. Next time u do it look in a mirror. Do this when people make u mad. You may have to hold this pose longer sometimes. It helps with self-esteem & self-confidence; l do not know how, but it does. People will wonder what is on ur mind, when u do not have to have a single thought; but making others wonder is fun. Prayers also help with esteem & confidence.